Run...don't walk...from the sexy vampires. Or was it pirates?

So as a lot of you know...I hopped on the Twilight bandwagon. (This will be much to my friend Denise's chagrin. Or...if I'm lucky...maybe it'll just make her grin.) Anyway...I didn't want to do it. I kicked and screamed my way through the 4 books. And loved them. Except for about a 150 page part of the book that was just so unbelievably silly that it truly made me wonder if Stephanie Meyer has, in fact, jumped the couch. At the very least, she had a bit of writers block and had run out of stuff to dribble on about, but her editor demanded at least a 650 page book, so she needed to find something. That's my theory anyway. Anyway...I had a very hilarious, very Rachelesque dream the other night that I would like to share with you. This will, in fact, prove that reading Twilight can be hazardous to your sleep schedule and your husband's wallet.
I had a dream that my very best friend was a vampire. Her name was Anna. And ironically, she looked just like the chick who plays Anna in the series V. (I'm pretty sure I had this dream on a Tuesday night, which is when V airs...so go figure.) This made her other best friend (who was also a vampire) quite angry. Her name was Bolma. (Don't judge me, I didn't come up with the names on my own...my subconcious did. I think I also may have watched an old episode of Dragonball Z....Bolma happens to be the main character's wife in that show.) Ok so anyway Bolma is mad at me for taking away her best friend Anna. But I'm not going to let something like that bother me...I'm just excited to have a girlfriend who is at home the same time of day as I am! So Anna and I go to the mall because I decided that I'd like to go to Sephora and find the perfect shade of red lipstick. But this is something that I wouldn't dare do without another woman's honest opinion of how it looks on me. Ok so Anna and I are in Sephora with our favorite salesguy JW (this is, in fact, a real cosmetics rep at the Sephora in Southcenter and I adore him) trying on red lipsticks. I am getting jealous of Anna because she can manage to make her lipsticks look so perfect (one of the many perks of being a vampire is excellent hand coordination) and I just look like a little kid trying on her mummy's makeup. Or at best, someone who put on her red lipstick in the dark while driving down a road full of potholes. In Iowa. So Anna tells me she'll help me put mine on, but I tell her first that I need an orange julius. (Which is bizarre...because I haven't had an orange julius for at least 2 years. The last time being when my brother Nathan and I went to the Bellevue Square Mall so that we could buy our Daddy's Christmas gift at the Bose store.) So I pop out of Sephora and who should be there to meet me, but Bolma. And she's MMMMMMAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! She wants to kill me for stealing Anna away from her! So she starts to chase me...and I'm having a hard time running away from her. I run back into Sephora because I know that Anna will keep me safe from crazy Bolma. But the catch is...Bolma happens to be a shape-shifter...a power that only works when she is in Sephora. And she shape-shifts into the shape of Anna. OH NO! What do I do? How do I keep myself safe from crazy Bolma when I don't know which one she is! Auuuggghhh!
At this point in the dream, I woke up. I then professed a desire to go to Sephora to my husband. He took me down that afternoon, where JW helped me pick out 2 beautiful shades of red lipstick. Because...my dreams make me crave makeup. At least they don't make me crave food! Oooh and I found (Denise you're going to love this!) a sampler of 10 different mascaras! I'm going to wrap them up and put them under the Christmas tree to open on Christmas day and act surprised!! And this...ladies and gentlemen...is proof that reading Twilight can be hazardous to your sleep schedule and to your husband's wallet. Because I've had insomnia ever since that dream...and well...2 lipsticks and a 10-sampler-pack of mascara at Sephora isn't exactly cheap!

Tell me, friends...what do your dreams make you crave?