An Awkward Moment Brought To You By Rachel Wood...or...My Love Affair With A Hobo

Here in the International District (aka Chinatown) of Seattle, there are a LOT of homeless people. Jeff and I have names for the regulars.
There is Help a Skinny Girl Eat, who is seen most frequently. I have witnessed this lady get out of her boyfriend's sports car, kiss him goodbye, put her designer Chanel sunglasses on the dash, and go to her corner. From there she proceeds to ask people "got a couple bucks to help a skinny girl eat?" I have also witnessed her go into a public restroom, stay in there for quite some time, and come out completely euphoric. Now, it could be that she's in a good mood because she finally took a dump for the first time in ages...or it could also be that she went in there to shoot up. She went away for the summer, I didn't see her for 2 whole months! I just saw her recently and...she aint so skinny anymore! Maybe she found a corner where people were more willing to give her money so she could eat and that's why she's put on weight. One can hope.
There is also Cup Shaker, who just sits there on the corner and shakes his cup at you. He also does it while sitting in traffic. What I mean by that is...you are sitting in traffic and he will come up to you in the middle of the lane right up to your car window and shake his cup at you. If you try to ignore him...he will just sit there shaking his cup at you. One time he tapped on my window. Or if you are walking he will follow you down the road shaking his cup at you.
I haven't seen Ghetto Jesus in quite some time...so I can't really comment on him.
My favorite is this older gentleman who is always dressed quite nicely. He always has a different story. "I need $5 to get on a bus with my girlfriend." (The funny thing about this is...the King County Metro System is free from 7am-7pm every day, and always free down in the bus tunnell.) Last night he asked my friend Denise to help him get into the homeless shelter. He mostly stands on the outside of Uwajimaya Apartments and asks for money. Oh...his nickname?? Singing Bum.
Last night Denise and I had quite the time trying to eat our meager bowl of soup while we talked about her recent trip to London. This gentleman came up and tapped on the window and asked us for money. Twice. We then moved on to "A Piece Of Cake" for dessert, and once again he came up and tapped on the window to ask for money. THEN he came INTO the store and asked another person for money. I didn't have any cash on me. Had I, I would have given it to him simply to make him go away.
My favorite moment, the one that really took the cake...was last week. I had a gentleman come up to me and beg for some money..."please ma'am, I'm hungry ma'am." Regretfully, I had no cash on me. I was in the store picking up some supper for myself and Jeff, when my heart-strings tugged. So I grabbed an extra burrito and went out to give it to him, thinking he might be happy to have some food. Boy was I mistaken. He took one look at the burrito, and then said "I don't like beans." And then asked me for the pad thai that I was going to be eating for supper. I guess beggars CAN be choosers.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not here to judge these people. I don't know what kind of situation these people found themselves in to be in this position. And whenever I do have a bit of cash, I will usually gladly fork it over. If a person asks for food I am always happy to get them some food. I try to show these people some kindness.
There are two types of homeless people that I will *ALWAYS* give money too, and do so happily. There are the Real Change guys. These people purchase the Real Change newspaper for $.35, and turn around and sell it for $1, thus making $.65 profit for each newspaper. I am always happy to fork over some money to these ladies and gentlemen, because I have seen firsthand that Real Change has actually changed people's lives. One time (during the big snow last month) I saw a gentleman get on the bus, in a nice suit with a laptop case. On his laptop case was a button that said "Real Change Works." Me being the completely tactless person I am, flat out asked him if he was a real change worker. He told me "I used to be, but managed to finally save up enough money to get my life on track and now I work for Microsoft." WOOOHOOO! I was thrilled for this man.
I also like to give money to street musicians. I am a musician myself. I play piano (poorly) and love to sing (to the point that sometimes it's hard to get me to shut up.) So when I see people on the street doing what they love, I can't help but want to contribute to the cause. Hey, they have more guts than I do! I don't have the guts to go on the street and sing, or drag my little piano down to Pike Street Market and play for people! Kudos to them! Kudos to anyone who tries to make money doing what they love! (On that note, RIP Tuba Man. A gentleman who would play Tuba before all of the major sports games...was brutally beaten by a couple of punk teenagers last October and died as a result. I met this man one time...but I still went to his Memorial Service and sobbed uncontrollably through the whole thing.)
My most awkward moment happened today. I was going to BOA to pick up a money order to send to sodding Uncle Sam so that my beloved doesn't get Al Capone'd. A Real Change gentleman came up to me with tears in his eyes and said "ma'am, I don't want any money" (even though I had already started to reach into my handbag) "I'm just so hungry...would you buy me some food?" Well, I hate to sound completely selfish, but I needed to get that blasted money order in the mail in time to go out today...so I told the gentleman "I have an errand that I have to have done in the next 15 minutes, but I will happily give you some money to go get something to eat." I then grabbed all the money in my wallet (A wopping $7) and handed it over to him. He took in a huge staggering breath, put his duffel bag on the ground, threw his arms around me, and then KISSED ME ON THE NECK!!! Then didn't let go for easily 30 seconds. Now don't get me wrong, I always appreciate a sign of gratitude. But the long hug and the kiss on the neck made me a bit uncomfortable. Especially the kiss on the neck. Only my husband kisses me on the neck.
Anyway, I hope the gentleman enjoys his lunch. I'm off to make myself some tuna and tomatoes...but I just wanted to share my moment of awkwardness with all ya'll.