I've Been Watching Too Much Food Network

We recently got cable again, and I have been enjoying watching Food Network. I was also thrilled to have the cable up in running in time for the season 2 premiere of my favorite telly show V. Well, we all have learned by now that what I watch and read seems to effect what I dream about. So, without further adieu, my most recent wacky dreams.

The other day my mum had her tooth pulled, and I (being the good daughter I am) decided to keep her company. I introduced my mother to my favorite telly show, V. I brought over my blu-ray of the first season so that she could better understand what was happening in season 2. I fell asleep on her couch while we were watching it. The entire time, I dreamt that I was with Alton Brown, and he was cooking aliens. Like, chopping them up, tossing them in a food processor, pureeing, sauteing, boiling, baking, deep-frying, aliens! And unlike what he normally does, which is to explain what he is doing while he does it, and the science behind is actions, he just kept screaming AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another dream that I had the other night is also related to watching too much Food Network. I really enjoy the shows Chopped, and Worst Cooks in America. I believe this lead to me having a very wacky dream in which I was a contestant on a show that was a cross between those two shows. We needed to cook up a meal using a certain set of ingredients, with no formal training in the art of cuisine. One of the ingredients called for was jalapenos. However, the jalapenos had not been provided the way the rest of the ingredients were. Well, the show luckily was being filmed at Pike Place Market, so I offered to run out to one of the fruit stands and get the jalapenos if the judges were willing to stop the timer. They all agreed on this, and I ran out to get some lovely jalapenos. (The fruit stand, in case you were wondering, was run by chef Robert Irvine. It was a fruit stand/fine leather handbag stand, also in case you were wondering.) I got the jalapenos, and even had Robert chop them up for me for good measure, and headed back to the kitchen studio. Upon my arrival, the kitchen studio was in utter chaos. But not food chaos. No. All of the chefs/judges/contestants had become ninjas. Killing each other with spatulas and wooden spoons and Kitchen Aid Mixer attachments. I tried to run to safety behind a wall. Also hiding behind the wall was Gordon Ramsay, and favorite of both me and my husband. I stood their star struck as Gordon skewered other kitchen ninjas with a pair of BBQ tongs. He then turned to me and said "come with me if you want to live." I said "ok Gordon, but I should probably let you know that I'm married." That's when I woke up.

I should probably stop watching late night Food Network.